The Left Hand of Darkness

 

 

"Light is the left hand of darkness

       and darkness is the right hand of light." 

                            

The Left Hand of Darkness was suggested to me by the bookstore owner of "Luna". This is a book I would not have picked for reading myself but it ended up as one of the profound books I have ever read. Calling it a science fiction book is kind of a misnomer as it deals more with sociology and anthropology. 

It was a book way ahead of its times as she questions the adjectives that define most part of society - gender, pride, respect etc. 

"What is love of one's country; is it hate of one's uncountry? Is it simply self-love? That's a good thing, but one musn't make a virtue of it, or a profession...but that sort of love doesn't have a boundary-line of hate." - patriotism, nationalism, borders, immigration, nuclear wars, weapons - all poof in one statement. 

That gender plays an important part of what we do in our lives and what is accepted is still relevant, seven decades after the book was written. 

"A man wants his virility regarded, a woman wants her feminity appreciated, however indirect and subtle the indications of regard and appreciation." What a keen observation that shows how shallow the basin of our self-assurance is. Then she takes us through a society where this factor is irrelevant. Imagine! 

I was not surprised to learn that the book was banned for sometime in the US (country of origin) as it was supposed to be "bad influence" on kids. To be able to think of a society functioning solely on the strengths and capabilities of an individual without restricting them to pre-defined gender buckets must have been a terrifying thought. It is this fear that dictates what should be a kid's favourite colour - pink or blue. How do you fight that? It is as the book says "It is extremely hard to separate the innate differences from the learned ones" and the lines are blurring even more with the passage of time. 

I felt some parts of the book, like the passage of Ai and Estraven across the ice-sheet, were too long and detailed and some parts lacked details. But no one can deny the intelligence of the mind that thought of a world that so deeply questions all our beliefs with a "what if?".  The most difficult part about the book for me was to imagine the world that Ursula describes.For some part of the book, I dint realise who was the alien and who was the human . But I think that was one of the points of the book, to question all our assumptions of what "normal" should look like. 

All in all, a very moving book. 

 

Patrick Radden Keefe is an excellent narrator and he doesn't disappoint with "Rogues". Have done the audible version of this book and enjoyed it. He takes you on a roller-coaster with rogues from different walks of life - their perspectives and his opinions on their crimes. He astounds with the level of detail only an investigative journalist can put together. A couple of stories (The worst of the worst, A loaded Gun) are compelling and make you think from a moral angle, a couple of them are inspiring (The Avenger, The Prince of Marbella) and will probably end up as movies down the line but the rest lack the punch and even Patrick cannot deliver. All-in-all an okayish read.

The Widows of Malabar Hill

 

This scintillating 1920's mystery carefully unfolds not only the layers of a murder mystery but also the intricacies and similarities of oppression of women in different cultures. Sujata Massey does an exceptional job of keeping the murderer under "wraps" till the end of the book. Even though it is set in two different time periods, it is a refreshing change from books that oscillate so much between past and present that the reader loses interest. It is heartening to see the protagonist grow from a gullible, gentle woman into a lawyer who unravels the web of lies at Malabar Hill with a shrewd mind. The characters of the book are simultaneously cliched and exceptionally rare which makes Perveen see the worst and best of the world at a tender age of 23. Really loved the characterisation of Perveen's parents who are exemplary in every sense of the word and remind me of my own parents who strived to carve a niche for their girls. All in all, thoroughly enjoyed the book and would recommend it to anyone who is in a mood for a good murder mystery. 

Casual Vacancy

This book cannot be more different from all of Rowling's other books. Definitely "Adult" rated amongst books. However, you can make out her writing style right from Page one. Her love for "english counties"and her hatred for "english tradition" is visible throughout the book.She weaves a story around a kind and loving man who favoured the underdogs and believed in giving a chance to everyone(very much like our beloved Dumbledore). Another similarity with the potter series is how she brings out the difference between the two classes in the society - just like muggles and wizards(or witches!). Your heart aches for some characters and you just wish their pain ends in the end.All in all an okayish read. Starts slow but picks up pace around the middle of the book

Nothing Ventured

Nothing Ventured has all the elements of the Archer Cocktail for the protagonist - a formidable mother, a stickler father, a woman of substance, an unselfish mentor and a clever rival - however it fails to deliver the punch. Like familiar food, the book itself is easy to digest - no surprises, it has everything you expect out of it - except it leaves you with a disappointing aftertaste. The detective is too easily aided in some tough situations by people who had no reason to. The plot in itself was very simple and fails to pique your interest. All in all, it was too predictable. Hoping the next book in the series has a better plot to go on.

Welcome to parenthood!

It is a magical feeling!  I was watching a sitcom the other day and what one of the characters says made amazing sense to me - 'everything in life becomes very clear when you hold the hand of a baby and look at its face'. True, even the worst of situations seems passable when you look into your baby's eyes and see him beam back at you. So, here are some of the things I realised after becoming a parent.

- sleep is not a necessity, it is a luxury you can have when your baby has it.
- you can be a complete loser to some people but to your baby you are the hero
- you know the complete meaning of responsibility only when you are a parent. Not because you have to keep them from doing bad things but because you have to be able to live upto the image your baby will have of you
- trust doesn't need words to express. You can see it in the tiniest gestures of your baby. One thing that always moves me is how my baby lights up when he sees me.
- it is OK to make mistakes. No matter how you screw up, your baby rewards you with a magical smile
- it is incorrect when people say you get to be a kid only once. I have seen my parents proving it wrong when they play with my son
- there is wonder in everything in the world, we take a lot for granted. Look at the world from a baby's eyes, you'll see
- contrary to the popular belief, you notice things about your partner more when you become a parent because you try to associate them with your child
- planning is fun
- it becomes easier to pose for photos because the love for your child becomes apparent
- you think of things you probably thought were obvious. Like for example how does a goat sound?  :)
- respect for your parents increases by leaps and bounds
- you find something to laugh about even in the most inane things like poo in your hand
- your observation power increases immensely
- essentially your point of view changes because you have to look everything from how your baby might be perceiving it. For a stubborn person like me, it is a novel thing but well learnt.

I haven't numbered the above list because I am only a four month old parent.. Looking forward to a life long roller coaster ride with our little one!!

Aamchi Mumbai!

Mumbai - the city where dreams come true! I have lived in this happening city, breathed in the air of nonchalance, took in the scent of hardwork, experienced the camarederie of the local folk for a couple of years. I never thought I would love a city as much as Hyderabad but Mumbai comes a close second.
It is the spirit of the city that draws you in. You feel it in everything you do. There is some nonchalance to your lifestyle in a foreign city anyway. But Mumbai draws out hitherto unexplored interests in you. There are so many things to explore that you can hardly stay put on a weekend. Couple that with wonderful company (I met one of my besties in Mumbai) and your sense of adventure, well you have a deadly combination there.
The city is a house to a melange of cultures and it celebrates them with a lot of pomp and gaeity. The city flaunts temples, cultural centres celebrating dying arts, concrete wonder malls, clubs celebrating the spirit of sport and the list goes on.  
You never run out of options when it comes to food because restaurants are open till wee hours of the morning something that I miss after coming back to Hyderabad.
Mumbai is by far the safest city I have stayed in judging by the fact that I used to go for midnight rides/walks with my friends without a second thought. You almost wish it was like that everywhere.
For a city that has its people thinking of an alternative lifestyle during the rainy season, it is unusually perky. The spirit which I speak of is bare-naked in the monsoon - no one stops. In such a compelling environment, the last trace of laziness is wiped out. You are ALWAYS on the move.
No wonder the Mumbaikers are such an active lot. For those of you who haven't been on a Mumbai metro, whats written in books about it being a second home to a lot of Mumbaikers is not an exaggeration. You HAVE to ride the Mumbai metro to know what it is like to live a lifetime in a ride of forty minutes.

The city that never sleeps; a land of opportunity; a place where dreams come true...Aamchi Mumbai indeed.

A final tribute...

Death - it has a finality to it. In the past two months I have lost two people in my life. The after events  could not have been more different.

If there is one thing that is sadder than death, it is an end not mourned for. It makes me realize that one of the most primal feelings that a human can undergo - love - is also a two-way feeling. In what way does that make us superior? It is easy to care for someone who is nice to everyone because you are just reciprocating the gesture. But, caring for someone otherwise - not for what they are to you but for what they stand for - is something that sets you apart.

I remember her as a person who was never happy. How is that possible? She had to endure a relationship in which she was thrust into at a very tender age which festered a lustful dislike towards life itself. Outright hatred is always better than ignoring a person because that shows that you have SOME feeling towards the person. She was lost in the sea of people who not only ignored her but also never tried to understand why she behaved the way she did. Maybe all she needed was a thoughtful gesture once in a while, a kind voice or sometimes a listening ear. But being cast into the typical role of a stepmother - which to everyone's acceptance she played very well - she could not be perceived anything but that. As Ra puts it, she probably always felt like an outsider and sadly she dint leave anyone of her own behind.

So, yesterday when I saw the drama unfolding in front of my eyes, I could not help getting away from it all.  A 5 minute wail from a sister who refused to take care of her in her last stages - was that all her life was worth? People unabashedly discussing mundane matters in life just hours into her death, somehow all this was adding insult to the injury. No matter who she was and what she did or did not do, she deserved respect.

I will always remember her fondly as a someone who always asked me if I wanted a cuppa coffee. As someone who demanded a saree whenever I got a raise. As someone who was always there for every occasion in the family. As the only grandma I ever knew.

Will miss her! 

Man of Steel(?)

How can anyone make super man look super boring??? But "Man of Steel" did it! Even Russell Crowe couldn't save the film! Half of the movie I was wondering when will the actual action start? And start it did in the second half and lasted as much - a few seconds. All in all a very poorly made "Super-hero" film with no power or punch - err pun intended :)
PS: I actually dragged three of my friends to the movie and dint hear the end of it for a week!

Innocents and Wordkeepers...

"The Sea of innocence" is a moderately good read...The writing style in itself is not so commanding as the atrocities that are portrayed in the book...Goa- for many still remains as an elusive picture of a paradise lost has in fact a darker and murkier side to it...The story speaks of a middle-aged investigator who gets pulled into the case of a missing 16 year old by her ex-boyfriend of a cop...The things that the girl had to experience at sweet 16 leaves a bitter taste in the reader's mouth...

The narrative is far too predictable and the characterization is pretty weak..I mean you can't just tap into a drug-mafia and come out unscathed...Still, the story of the missing girl keeps you hooked onto the book to know whether she is still alive or not , if not for anything else...While the atrocities are unbelievably true, the characters could've been given some more meat to make the investigation and the conversations believable...

All in all, even though the book was not very well written, "The Sea of innocence" captures you with a temporary spell and leaves you heavy hearted imagining the kind of law-less, corrupt and incorrigible society we live in...


Speaking of Society, I also had the chance of reading another surprisingly well written book - "The Wordkeepers"...Keeping up with the recent trend of bringing mythological characters to life, "The wordkeepers" is the first of a triology that speaks of the last avatar of Vishnu and the Kali Yug...Although not a believer of Kalki, I fell for the book - hook, line and sinker...

There are places where you can make out the nascency of the author (this after all is her first book) but the overall narrative is riveting...Can't wait for the next book!

Of words and oleanders!

Just now finished a couple of beautiful books and my journey which started in Nazi Germany has now ended up in the crowded streets of Kolkatta...

I am so happy reading some meaningful books after the sorry excuse for a book - "Revolution 2020"...It was like cleansing myself raw after a long week of selling fish...

"The book thief" from which the phrase word shaker is borrowed is a beautiful, lyrical narration of the magnificence of human nature...It is amazing the depths to which people go to uphold the honor of their word...It is true sometimes, the worst of the situations brings out the best in people...It is heart wrenching to see the love story unfold amidst the uncertainty that Nazi Germany brought about to the millions of people who were neutral to the anti-Semitic movement....But most of all my favourite character of the book was the fair skinned Jesse Owens...One kiss that's all he asked for...*sigh*...

Then there was this sudden jolt and I woke up in a royal mansion in which the oleander girl is dealing with her uncertainties of impending nuptials and the incompleteness that has filled her life....I usually shy away from the works of Indian authors for the simple fact that almost all of them revolve around the intricate web of emotions that every Indian faces...My simple explanation is I have enough of that in my everyday life, I don't need to delve into someones else's to understand that...But surprisingly and refreshingly "The Oleander girl" takes me with her in search of her identity...The book is very well written without the usual mushiness and has strong characters that hold the fort on their own..Now that I reflect, I guess I liked the book so much because every character in the book is unabashedly themselves without any pretense...All in all a good read...

I have a stack of books waiting for me and cant wait to start them! Till then ciao!

Conversations...

I've always been in a dilemma as to whether to confront someone with something or to let it go simply because you know that it doesn't change anything. As one of my dear friends says I have always been kind of a pushover- a passive person. But dint mind it so much until lately I realized how important it is to actually communicate rather than just letting it go to avoid a confrontation.Conversations left unfinished remain stories entangled and be sure they will come back to haunt you. At some point in your life you will sit and reflect as to how things would've turned out if only you had spoken your mind. Can't change what has happened,have no regrets either. But here's to a new beginning and hopefully a better one...

Can't Wait!

Impatience is the new life - says the adcom for airtel broadband which pretty much summarises the way of life today so much so that when I couldn't remember this tag line within ten seconds I immediately called up my friend to look it up for me :)

Everything now-a-days has to happen with lightening speed and sometimes even that is slow...I wont be surprised if the unit of measure changes from a second to nanosecond(spoken like a true geek:))...

Alls fine with speed and manic restlessness BUT It irks me when people can't wait for their turn in the Queue (wherever!)...Why is it that waiting brings out the worst in people? I , for one , hate waiting but only when someone doesn't keep up an appointment ...but I fail to understand
Why the hell do people honk in traffic when they can see that there isnt space for the guy before him to manouver?
Why can't they stand in line but just brush past the waiting people to get a movie ticket?
Why is it that people go on calling even if they hear that their call is waiting?(a super invention by the way)
Why can't people wait for 10 seconds and have to switch the channel as soon as an ad is on?
and whenever I see any such thing happening (which is ever so often), it is all I can do to stop myself giving them an earfull!
Why I mean Why??

Aham brahmasmi!

Back from a week long trip to a loooot of temples :) ...We visited almost 8-9 temples within a span of 6 days and boy was it worth it! Every temple had a story to tell and a few deposits were made to my knowledge bank ;)...These new additions obviously set my ball of thought rolling and as a natural consequence I am blogging ;)...
As a Hindu I have the previlege of worshipping hundreds of deities in various forms...If you observe, every deity stands for certain qualities...these qualities are'nt usually those with which a person is born , they need to be attained through the course of life with a lot of self retrospection and learning there by...thus they are usually branded as unattainable by human standards...It makes me wonder may be it is these qualities we worship and to give them form we associate a godly figure to it-if so hats off to the genius of our ancestors to have exemplified these lessons by personifying these qualities...This is where the second word of my title comes --"Brahmam"
On a different plane, why DO we have so many dieties? Can't we have a single god and associate all the qualities with Him? May be it is our ancestors' way of saying that everyone is different :) and you can't expect all the qualities in a single human being :) A way of promoting tolerance in us-- a train of thought that I am still not very tolerant about though :)...
There is a saying in Gita -- "You will attain moksha when you see yourself in others and others in you". The first one is but natural, but not many do the second one...This is where the first word of my title comes--"Aham"...This prevents people in executing the second thought...
But only the one who realises that the two words are inseperable also sees that only when you believe in yourself do you attain true happiness...
Know thyself - be your best critic.

Gilly Gilly all the way!

Performing under pressure is the real mark of a champion...I fell in love with Gilly all over again on friday..What a knock that was! It knocked the senses out of me and I started jumping up and down for every shot that sent the ball flying or bouncing over the boundary-which meant a lot of physical exercise for me as every other ball was sent to meet the boundary....
The match started with a surprising decision by Gilly to bowl rather than bat first especially when the chargers lost the last 5 matches chasing...But the gentleman's decision was proved right (or was it right just because they won ;)) as the nerves of the semi-final attacked delhi when it lost two very early wickets...The chargers then tried everything in the book to restrict delhi to a defendable score...however friday was Gilly's day...the Daredevils' total seemed miniscule in front of the gargantuan skill of Gilly...Sehwag was in the receiving end of what he usually does to the opposition and he was flabbergasted...Every shot showed a genius in action...every ball - a yorker,short pitch, full toss, leg cutter- whatever the question was , Gilly had an answer....It was however a little sad that the magnificent journey of the daredevils to the semi-final reached an anti-climax...There was only one difference between both the teams that day- one gentleman-Adam Gilchrist!
I do sincerely hope he continues this in the final too and script the unexpected ending to a tournament in which the chargers started as the underdogs!

A simpler time...

Today when I was talking with my amma I was reminded of a much simpler time. Her experiences are so very different from mine and mine would be so very different from my kid's :).When she was relating her experiences I couldn't help musing where has that world gone?
Simplicity was the word of the day then. Today I see around me the expression has become a rarity. There was a time when social occasions like marriages were a chance to let go of reins and swap life stories. At that time even a distant relative was treated as a comrade in arms-literally. But today even filial bonds don’t hold weight and marriages now have just become a social formality. Back then, it was so easy to talk to a relative/friend or a next door neighbor. Inhibitions existed then, they exist now too but the only difference is there was no fear of acceptance then. People had the freedom to be themselves and get away with it. Today however, we surround ourselves with concrete walls - just like the world we live in. People today pride themselves for their tolerance levels. I find the idea laughable. Yes, there are cases where we have changed for the better – definitely and I am proud to be a member of such a society but I still maintain that our ancestors were more tolerant towards life. Compromise-something which comes under “why me?” category today- was commonplace because people were more mature.
They were a much resilient as a result a much happier lot. We on the other hand are much vulnerable. The emotional veils that we hide under now-a-days were non-existent then. Back then people found it so easy to compliment or comment someone because people were mature enough to accept either but today I see that even a genuine compliment is treated with suspicion simply because an honest one is an oddity. An honest person today feels out of place and has to disguise himself just to fit in because his honesty is considered to be naivety!

Why and how then has this change come about?

People today confuse individuality with modernism and compromise with conservatism. People fail to realize that individualistic people can also be conservative and that conservatism doesn’t necessarily mean narrow-mindedness. Sadly the society is now divided into these two groups of extreme thought and the intersection bears the brunt as each of these two groups considers the other deplorable. The elements that divide the two generations were and are prevalent in both the generations. It is only now that we want to attribute adjectives to characterize each generation that these have come into limelight.

Who said people weren’t knowledgeable back then? Who would you trust with financial advice-a Fresh finance graduate who has no practical experience whatsoever or a housewife in a joint family who has handled two generations of wages? But very few people sit back and appreciate the lessons life has taught.
The younger generation treats their ancestors as a bunch of old fools who SO do not understand their line of thought- they ignore the wisdom of experience. The older generation on the other hand has become all the more protective of their off-springs – to shield them from the pain that life has subjected them to – they fail to see through the curtain of inexperience or realize that some lessons are to be learnt practically.
Adding to this are our unbelievably tight schedules which prevent us from bridging this gap. A power cut now-a-days is proving to be such a blessing in disguise. It has probably become the only period of time where the whole family sits in one single room and talk – albeit forcibly. Such is the story of today where we need to depend on something like a power cut to bring us together. I somehow can’t help wishing the world today was as simple as back then with all the wonderful blessings of today.

This is me signing off in the wait for the next power cut :)

To be or not to be!

Compromise- it requires enormous strength of character but when overdone it will ruin one's sense of self. One of the toughest questions in life is when to stop compromising and start living.One needs to know where to draw a line.I have seen both the extremes in life. I have seen people who don't give up their end and thereby break relationships and I have seen people who do all it takes to maintain the relationship but lose themselves in the process. This makes me wonder is it so difficult then to actually sit back,reflect and decide what is more important to you and when?

Huh!

Yesterday I understood the saying..."No one wants to die alone....." -- one of my friends felt this way today and I couldnt help reflecting on the same. When I asked him what the reason was he told me he wasn't feeling well yesterday and just got the thought that even if something happens to him what if there was no one to even tell! Wow! Such a scary thought! Imagine the amount of effort you put into life but ultimately you are on your own aren't you? Somehow the thought was a little unsettling. It makes everything else seem so miniscule and even unworthy!

Out of comfort zone!

Comfort zone-everyone who thinks of one has one...one which lures you into finding it,one which you can call your own-all yours',one which can afford to change :) but one we never would want to get out of...
why is then i always find myself snugly stuffed into my comfort zone at one moment and thrown mercilessly out of it at the next...its like awakening someone from a deep slumber by throwing cold water on em...and then there is always the promise of something better out there...but only a moron or a genius would fall for that...as am neither and am perfectly normal i find it equivalent to standing stark naked with my fears out in the open with the world of unknown for an audience...it is not the fear of acceptance...this might sound crazy but it is of knowing that you would find another zone and in knowing that too wouldn't last...you tend to think of what next ?vice of being wise i guess...you keep wondering whether you really want to get into something you know the outcome of anyways or would you be enticed enough by the warmth of the memories that you just fall into the trap once again...I guess they don't call it lifecycle for nothing, history repeats itself, time and again ...and again for another time when you don't want it to :)...
And while am off in search of my zone again for the zillionth time, i guess its just life's way of saying "Ha Ha Gotcha"...

Moments

Ever been in a rhetorical "if only time would stand still.." place? yeah well ok if not that dramatic i atleast have a few favourites which will keep my rewind button rolling on and on and well few others which just keep the smile pasted on my face just thinking what it would be like..without further ado...PRESENTING...my happy place...
waking up early to find you have half an hour more till the alarm goes off...aa sleep,the most misused luxury i have ....
yapping away with my mom especially when she enunciates on my vices...can't help laughing...
just coming back home from wherever...
fighting with my bro...somehow,just can't do without it...
sitting on a swing,swaying to the breeze and listening to kishore kumar's songs...
discussing right about everything with my dad...
reading my favourite book...
even doing nothing with my sis...
cricket...well i guess the only thing my hubby should worry about :)...
sitting around in my pyjamas at home and just watching F.R.I.E.N.D.S...
talking to MY friends...
writing...something i do when am really anxious,somehow calms me down :)...
calvin and hobbes...
playing with kids...
shopping...one virtue i have inherited from my race of the fairer sex :)...
singing...yeah it makes me happy if not others :)
sitting around in a woody place,drinking coffee,deeply,from a black mug and having a book in my hand...aah quite a picture aint it :)...
gossiping...yeah well one of my favourite pass times...
walking along the beach side at midnight and eating ice cream...
getting a call on my landline...yeah well i am conservative...
receiving a hand written letter...proves it again...
watches! ah i can never get tired of em...
playing tt or basketball...its been a while...but it gives me the adrenaline rush...
getting wet in the rain...somehow cheers me up even when i am in crap:) kinda like washes my tears away :)
pictures...just love posing for em ;)
greeting cards...who says silence is golden when you can say so much with words :)...
chocolates...no matter how many teeth i lose coz of em :)..
lights...sitting on the terrace with only your thoughts and the breeze for company and seeing the innumerable lights that glitter in the city...just makes anything look miniscule...
midnight talks...just love em...
flirting...ok i neednt explain much abt that...
having someone say "love ya" to you...no arguing,one of the most fulfillig moments one can have...
and just loving with all i have...to me that is the essence of existence