Out of comfort zone!

Comfort zone-everyone who thinks of one has one...one which lures you into finding it,one which you can call your own-all yours',one which can afford to change :) but one we never would want to get out of...
why is then i always find myself snugly stuffed into my comfort zone at one moment and thrown mercilessly out of it at the next...its like awakening someone from a deep slumber by throwing cold water on em...and then there is always the promise of something better out there...but only a moron or a genius would fall for that...as am neither and am perfectly normal i find it equivalent to standing stark naked with my fears out in the open with the world of unknown for an audience...it is not the fear of acceptance...this might sound crazy but it is of knowing that you would find another zone and in knowing that too wouldn't last...you tend to think of what next ?vice of being wise i guess...you keep wondering whether you really want to get into something you know the outcome of anyways or would you be enticed enough by the warmth of the memories that you just fall into the trap once again...I guess they don't call it lifecycle for nothing, history repeats itself, time and again ...and again for another time when you don't want it to :)...
And while am off in search of my zone again for the zillionth time, i guess its just life's way of saying "Ha Ha Gotcha"...

Moments

Ever been in a rhetorical "if only time would stand still.." place? yeah well ok if not that dramatic i atleast have a few favourites which will keep my rewind button rolling on and on and well few others which just keep the smile pasted on my face just thinking what it would be like..without further ado...PRESENTING...my happy place...
waking up early to find you have half an hour more till the alarm goes off...aa sleep,the most misused luxury i have ....
yapping away with my mom especially when she enunciates on my vices...can't help laughing...
just coming back home from wherever...
fighting with my bro...somehow,just can't do without it...
sitting on a swing,swaying to the breeze and listening to kishore kumar's songs...
discussing right about everything with my dad...
reading my favourite book...
even doing nothing with my sis...
cricket...well i guess the only thing my hubby should worry about :)...
sitting around in my pyjamas at home and just watching F.R.I.E.N.D.S...
talking to MY friends...
writing...something i do when am really anxious,somehow calms me down :)...
calvin and hobbes...
playing with kids...
shopping...one virtue i have inherited from my race of the fairer sex :)...
singing...yeah it makes me happy if not others :)
sitting around in a woody place,drinking coffee,deeply,from a black mug and having a book in my hand...aah quite a picture aint it :)...
gossiping...yeah well one of my favourite pass times...
walking along the beach side at midnight and eating ice cream...
getting a call on my landline...yeah well i am conservative...
receiving a hand written letter...proves it again...
watches! ah i can never get tired of em...
playing tt or basketball...its been a while...but it gives me the adrenaline rush...
getting wet in the rain...somehow cheers me up even when i am in crap:) kinda like washes my tears away :)
pictures...just love posing for em ;)
greeting cards...who says silence is golden when you can say so much with words :)...
chocolates...no matter how many teeth i lose coz of em :)..
lights...sitting on the terrace with only your thoughts and the breeze for company and seeing the innumerable lights that glitter in the city...just makes anything look miniscule...
midnight talks...just love em...
flirting...ok i neednt explain much abt that...
having someone say "love ya" to you...no arguing,one of the most fulfillig moments one can have...
and just loving with all i have...to me that is the essence of existence

Letting go!

she really left ...can't believe that i will come home tomorrow and not see her standing in the frontyard...she came in when i was like four years old and we grew old together till today... seeing her go away just opened a bundle of memories...like our first ride together,when we brought our baby brother home...like the first time i tainted her covers with the bathi...like the innumerous times we got excited because we were going in the car!!the many summer holidays when we got a bucket of soap water and just washed her...and as we grew up the many times we had tiffs about whoz not gonna wash her:)...she just came along wherever we went...she was one of those things you know,who was always there... i actually felt cruel giving her away...it was like losing a friend of eighteen long years...she was our pride...our first car...and when the last time her engine spluttered to life in our frontyard,it was all i could do to stop myself from running behind her...i just stood there wiping the moisture away from my eyes, seeing our old faithful finally leave us,forever...

Minnows and the mellows!

Bangladesh vs India what a match that was! Unfortunately it was talked about for all the wrong reasons. To start with, a very hand picked few actually acknowledged the splendid performance of Bangladesh. It was heartening to see the way Bangladeshis played. Our team just lost to a better team that day. They were better in every department of the game. The fact that the teens intimidated the likes of sachin tendulkar or rahul dravid or saurav ganguly, who have as much experience as their age, with their bowling speaks volumes of the level at which they played the game. They weren’t “minnows” in anyway it is a serious misnomer that. Anyone who has seen them playing over the last year would agree that the improvement in their game was tremendous. Their win over Australia cannot be pure luck. It is just saddening to see that when an upcoming team like Bangladesh wins over an established team, like us for instance, credit isn’t given to their performance or competence instead we dig into why the other team lost. Look at what they have reduced Indians to- hoping that they don’t bat as well as they bowled or fielded.
The only difference I saw in both the teams on that day was the attitude with which they approached the game. At no point in the game, Indians were confident that they could pull it off. Bangladeshis on the other hand exuded confidence with every ball they played. They were all over the place when they fielded. They didn’t get complacent at any point in the game giving due respect to their formidable opponent. They had the confidence in us that we could turn the game at any point, we just didn’t back ourselves. They simply didn’t give India the chance to get back into the game. As for their batting, they showed more maturity than the likes of their age aided by the fielding positions of Rahul Dravid of course. We simply dint show superiority in the way we bowled or fielded. We just didn’t have an attacking field with which we could well have defended even a total of 191. It is easier said than done. But it is India that they were playing against and they would definitely had jitters about it. And we didn’t take advantage of it. That was the only thing that was missing in our approach, the aggressiveness.
As for the reaction of fans down here, their situation is simply pitiable. They don’t enjoy the game anymore. It is always about a win. They do not give credit to the opponent, whoever it might be. This has been happening for a while and disappointment is understandable in a cricket-loving nation like ours but it is madness to take the game at a personal level and attacking the players’ homes. This way the whole essence of spirit of the game is lost. I know I am asking for a lot when I say it is high time that people change their attitude towards the game we all love so much. But it has to be done.
I am an avid fan of Indian cricket and I still believe that we have it in us to win the world cup! This is wishing them all the best !

The day that was!

Theory of relativity—Even God uses it!
When you are Six feet under and you think you can’t go any further, He gives a sevenish I’ve always wondered why! But it actually makes you appreciate Six even more…think about it...somethings in life exist just to make you appreciate life without them… true ain’t it? J
lately I’ve been in more or less a similar situation…and I am going to share with you a day which just did what it was supposed to do, made me realize what it was without it…
yesterday was an ordinary day, just that it wasn’t in every way possible…I was supposed to get up early to go to work and yes of course I got up late…I was running late for work and was yelling at everyone within a foot of me…usually I take my bike to work but yesterday, i wonder why, I didn’t…I went in my cousin’s car…again all was well I was chatting with my cousin a little bit of this and that and I would’ve been in office in another ten minutes…and suddenly out of nowhere this pedestrian comes in the way and I swear I heard the chicken wonder out loud WHY?…we avoided him only to be hit by an oncoming motor bike…then there was this whole drama of cops and law…the saving grace was the guy on the motor bike, who by the way wasn’t wearing a helmet, survived miraculously with only superficial cuts…all of it took about two hours to be sorted out…so finally I ended up in office…it was just like from the pan into the fire…I get reprimanded by my superior for not putting enough effort in a week when I felt doubly tired what with my work and my mood swings…I come back to my cubicle only to be intimated that my place has been shifted elsewhere…it might seem a little silly, but what the heck, everybody is a slave to routine and I am no different ,I had really gotten used to my place…so I slowly drag all my possessions to my new place and divert myself with setting up my new place when I get an email saying that the paper I published (which I hated to do in the first place) was rejected and I have to do it all over again…after working for a considerable amount of time I decided to call it a day and I knew now at that mo god must have laughed out loud not yet dear not yet…well I took an auto with my friend who couldn’t see the resignation written all over my face and obliged to come along only to be dragged into my eventful day…we were half way down when the auto breaks down and I was smiling to myself as I had suspected that it was still not the end…we manage to catch hold of another auto and guess what? After ten minutes the fuel tank ditches us…by this time I was positively amused and was literally laughing out loud…who would expect two vehicles to break down on a single day? But no it was yesterday and I seriously wasn’t surprised…so finally after taking a third auto, I come home and was just happy to be home!
And during all this I forgot for a whole day half of what was irking me all along…amazing isn’t it? I know am barking mad J but just think about it…sometime down the lane you might even laugh about the fact that today something was so important to you and that it actually bothered you so much that you couldn’t enjoy it! Whether you accept it or not it happens in 8 cases out of 10 and it is not because you were worried about trifling things or you were immature or any of those stuff! No sir! Its just that anything, except the things that are worth your time, will not matter to you as you traverse the lane of time…and the things that are actually worth your time will only remain as memories for you to cherish…

My tryst with destiny!

Me: who are you?
Mr D: I haven’t been posed a more flagrant question.
Me: you continue to elude me, so why don’t you tell me exactly who are you?
Mr D: who do you think I am?
Me: a question is not the answer to a question.
Mr D: okay you seem to be a difficult customer.
Me : am waiting…..
Mr D: okay okay let’s see, I am what you make me to be.
Me : you are as obscure as ever.
Mr D : I am flattered by your interest in me.
Me: cut that out and answer me won’t you?
Mr D : okay since most of the time I am an object of blame and been looked upon with prejudice and since you have given me the benefit of doubt, I will answer you
Me : finally !!
Mr D: but there is one condition…
Me : there he goes again!!!
Mr D: you must first tell me what is it about me that mystifies you and what is it that you so seemingly want to know about me..
Me: well….
Mr D : I guess it’s now my turn to wait…
Me: people say you are someone who is predefined…
Mr D: and what do you think?
Me: I dunno….
Mr D: okay take a guess…
Me: hmmm.. I think nothing is predefined in life…
Mr D: very good…
Me : I am right am I ?
Mr D: partly…
Me: don’t start that again…can’t you be clear for once?
Mr D: okay I am like the end of the road, which is predefined…
Me: so you are already defined?
Mr D: nope as I said, only the end of the road is defined…the path you take to reach me is entirely your discretion …
Me: you amuse me…
Mr D: and you flatter me all the more…okay what else do you know about me?
Me : hmm lets’ see …people often refer to you when they are in distress…
Mr D: I seriously doubt whether it is a boon or a bane….
Me : I definitely think it is a bane…
Mr D: well I would feel very happy if someone in distress thinks of me as their support…
Me: yeah but always?
Mr D: well it does get on to my nerves sometimes …
Me: no it isn’t like that…you don’t understand…
Mr D: exactly what don’t I understand?
Me: its’ like they blame you for what’s happening… it is as if you are the cause for their grief…
Mr D: well I used to get angry when I was young but now I got used to it …
Me : so what you don’t get mad at them at all?
Mr D: you know what is the easiest thing to do when you are in distress?
Me : no…
Mr D: it is to blame someone else for it..
Me : but how will that help?
Mr D : it releases us from the burden of being responsible for our actions…
Me : but we are responsible for actions…
Mr D: I dunno whether you are naïve or you are trying to humour me…
Me : speak in English you fool…how can anyone else be responsible for things we do…
Mr D : have you ever heard of the term circumstances?
Me : yeah …
Mr D : don’t you think they also play a role in what you do…
Me : might be, but not always…most of the times we are in the circumstances we are because we acted in a way that has put us in that situation… its something like the cause and effect…
Mr D : a very good insight…if everyone thinks like you, I will be saved some attention… not that I don’t enjoy it…
Me: you enjoy it?
Mr D: well, being a celebrity is not everyone’s cup of tea…anyway…you say most of the times…what about the rest?
Me: well, those are the times I end up in situations which on retrospection I realize I have no need to be there at all….
Mr D : why do you think that is?
Me : I dunno may be its’ bound to happen that way…
Mr D : oh common don’t be such a loser… think
Me : it happens for a reason I do not understand…
Mr D : are you happy or sad about it…
Me : mixed…
Mr D : can you be clear?
Me : now you know how it feels?
Mr D : ok could you please explain yourself..
Me : well I sometimes feel helpless…I mean dependent on something has never been something I am used to…I feel like I should control the situation…I feel frustrated …
Mr D : I always look for an exception but ok as always the negative part came out first…now for the positive?
Me : well I feel so helpless I try to console myself just by telling myself may be something better will come out of it…you know what I mean don’t you?
Mr D: I might have a faint idea…
Me : oh common!!
Mr D: ok ok you know what I said I am partly defined?
Me : how can I forget?
Mr D : well, this is one of those aspects…it is the benevolence of the creator that I am so dynamic not to mention dashing…
Me : for crying out loud…don’t be so modest
Mr D : see god always puts us in these situations to bring out the best in us
Me: how can subjecting someone to pain bring out the best in them you moron
Mr D : now you are talking… it is simple god always gives us two choices in each situation …
Me: yeah I know that …everyone keeps harping about it…something like good and bad…
Mr D : how painfully obvious !! and not necessarily true..
Me : what do you mean?
Mr D : well , it’s just that when god presents us with a situation, yeah I am consciously using the word present, you’ll know later why, He also gives us two ways out…one is the right way
Me: hey that’s what I said….
Mr D : listen to me completely kiddo…the other one is what might make us happy…which need not necessarily be wrong…
Me: ok then the choice is obvious right … we’ll all pick the one that makes us happy…which idiot will pick the right one if it doesn’t make us happy?
Mr D : your blatant ness is like music to my ears…but it isn’t that simple
Me: what is not simple between picking something that makes us happy and something which only nutters will pick..
Mr D : well most of the times the thing which we think will make us happy will not…we just assumed that it will…
Me : so you feel we need to pick that seems not to make us happy at all…
Mr D : phew you are difficult aren’t you?
Me : well if you could explain clearly it will be easy for both of us…
Mr D : ok here’s the deal…it is this choice, to pick the right one is the essence of life-mine and yours…
Me: still don’t get you…
Mr D : it is the challenge with which god has presented you… the way you choose to deal with it decides the path and the time it takes for you to reach me…
Me: so the good guys reach you first by taking the right decisions and that’s why they don’t live long…
Mr D : I have never heard a more misconstrued version of what I said …
Me : so what happens if we don’t take the right decision?
Mr D: thats the beauty of it
Me : well one thing is for sure ,you and I definitely differ on our notion of what beauty is…whats so beautiful about that?
Mr D: well to start with if you take a decision, God puts you in one path and if you take another he puts you on another path…
Me : so they are right everything is predefined…
Mr D: you are tempting me use the M word but anyways don’t you see it is entirely your decision which way you go…
Me: but that’s a huge responsibility
Mr D : its what makes you what you are
Me: what if I choose to do nothing about it
Mr D : you are chickening out like most do… but think about it… if you choose nothing to do about it… even that’s a decision my friend…
Me : ok so its all like a maze aint it? A very complicated maze…
Mr D : perfect…but I wouldn’t bother much about the complication you know…that’s what makes it exciting
Me : so god has spent so much time on me alone?
Mr D : now you get it ? why I call it a present? Just think for a moment…if you are not where you are…think of where you might be and you would feel that may be this is better…because its where god wants you to be…
Me: yeah its unbelievable…I mean I suddenly feel so important…
Mr D: you are…
Me : ok where do you fit in?
Mr D : you still don’t see it?
Me : I have a faint idea…
Mr D : shoot…
Me : you are not what people perceive you to be…
Mr D: on the contrary I am exactly what people perceive me to be…I dunno what’s the fuss about me, but I do definitely enjoy it…
Me : you will continue to amaze me don’t you?
Mr D: grow old with me, the best is yet to be…

He

When He is on the field,every Indian heart rather, every cricket fan, is engulfed with a very natural human feeling-an expectation-for more.
When He is on the field,every heart believes it is possible because he makes every total on the board look surmountable-He gives us hope,He challenges our imagination.
Indians are always known for their spirituality.May it be a Muslim worshipping Allah or may it be a Hindu worshipping Shiva or may it be every Indian cricket fan worshipping Him.
This journey of expectations began when He first toured Pakistan in 1989.People were talking then,now they are talking again as He goes back to Pakistan after a decade and a half with a bundle of memories and memoirs.
Indians in particular have a very strange way of expressing their love-we are surprisingly cruel to the ones we claim to love the most and He is not an exception.He is undoubtedly a God to every fan out there and as a rule God doesn't make mistakes,but it should be remembered that this God is human and He can make mistakes.
Yes,expectations are present from someone who is capable not from someone who isn't,but it should be remembered that when they are not met it doesn't make the person less capable.
Yes,it is impossible to take failure and success equally,but it should remembered that it is a success or failure for Him-for every thought we spend on His game perhaps he spends a thousand.
He is not a mere mortal but he isn't immortal either.Cricket is a game of 11 not 1.
It is sad that He is being written off-He who has managed to raise every emotion in every cricket heart-ecstasy,disappointment,

anger,exult,surprise,shock,tears, hope and feelings that words cannot suffice-just by a stroke with his bat.He who is known by every bowler heart in hearts the best with the stick no matter how much he denies it.Sharne Warne,the world's second highest wicket taker in Tests,confessed to having nightmares about His batting.
Who would forget His spectacular knock against the Aussies in Sharjah,or His laudable dedication to the game when he returned to play for the country in the world cup after having lost one of the closest persons to him on this Earth-His father and still he is criticised.Yes,He definitely can be but constructively.It is but natural to be angry when expectations are not met but it should be remembered that he feels it no less.
He is an institution.Yes,even now He and no one else,will decide when the curtain descends-that is the right He has earned.We have travelled every ball with Him,sat beside Him in every innings,beheld His every spectacular shot but lets stay with Him even when He is out for a duck,when He isn't able to achieve the task we have set for Him.  
Yes,our memory is full of Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar but still we make room for Him because He is incomparable,unimitable and undoubtedly The best batsman that ever walked on this Earth.